Why Balance Isn’t About Doing It All (And What to Focus on Instead)
LollyWilliams-Gibbs Williams-Gibbs 
Balance isn’t about doing it all—it’s about doing what matters most. Learn how to redefine balance and create a life that works for YOU.
Why Balance Isn’t About Doing It All (And What to Focus on Instead)
If I had a pound for every time I heard a mum say, “I just need to find the right balance,” I’d probably be sipping cocktails on a beach right now.
Balance. It’s this holy grail of motherhood we’re all apparently supposed to achieve—juggling the house, the kids, work, self-care, relationships, and somehow still having time to “fill our own cup.”
And yet… no matter how hard we try, balance always feels just out of reach.
So today, let’s get real about what balance actually is (and isn’t)—and how you can stop chasing the impossible and start creating a life that actually works for you.
The Myth of ‘Having It All’
We’ve been sold a lie.
Somewhere along the way, we picked up this belief that a “good mum” is one who:
✔ Keeps a spotless house.
✔ Always has time for the kids.
✔ Smashes it at work or runs a thriving business.
✔ Works out daily and drinks green smoothies.
✔ Has a Pinterest-worthy self-care routine.
And if we’re not doing all of this, what happens? We feel like we’re failing.
But here’s the truth—balance isn’t about doing it all. It’s about doing what matters most.
Why Balance Feels So Hard to Achieve
The reason so many of us struggle with balance is because we think it means equal effort in every area of life, all the time.
But that’s just not how life works.
Some weeks, you’ll be killing it in your business but the washing will pile up.
Some weeks, your kids will need you more, and your goals might take a backseat.
Some days, you’ll have zero motivation, and that’s okay too.
Balance isn’t a perfectly even scale. It’s a constant adjustment.
Think of it like a see-saw—sometimes one thing needs more attention, sometimes another, and that’s completely normal.
The problem isn’t that we’re failing at balance—it’s that we’re trying to achieve a version of it that doesn’t even exist.
So, What Should You Focus on Instead?
If balance isn’t about doing everything, then what is it about?
Here’s what actually makes a difference:
1️⃣ Prioritising What Truly Matters
Not everything in your life is equally important, so why are we trying to juggle it all?
Take a step back and ask yourself:
💜 What are the 3 most important things in my life right now?
💜 What actually fills me up, rather than drains me?
💜 What could I let go of that doesn’t truly serve me?
➡ Instead of trying to split your energy across 10 different areas, focus on the ones that actually matter the most to you right now.
And guess what? These priorities can and will change depending on your season of life, and that’s completely okay.
2️⃣ Giving Yourself Permission to Let Some Things Slide
You don’t have to be great at everything all the time.
Repeat after me:
✨ It’s okay if the washing isn’t folded today.
✨ It’s okay if you order takeaway because you’re exhausted.
✨ It’s okay if you don’t reply to every WhatsApp message instantly.
Balance means choosing where to put your energy and not feeling guilty about what doesn’t get done.
💡 Try this:
1) Pick one thing you’re going to stop stressing over this week.
2) Give yourself full permission not to do it.
3) Notice how freeing it feels to let go of something that doesn’t actually matter in the grand scheme of things.
3️⃣ Creating Systems That Support You
Balance doesn’t come from doing more, it comes from making things easier.
What could you put in place to reduce your daily overwhelm?
✅ Meal planning or prepping in advance (so you don’t stare at the fridge at 6pm wondering what to cook).
✅ A simple morning routine that helps you start the day feeling calm, not chaotic.
✅ Delegating—whether that’s getting your partner/kids involved more or outsourcing what you can.
Balance isn’t about doing it all yourself. It’s about making sure everything doesn’t depend on you alone.
4️⃣ Learning to Say No (Without Feeling Guilty)
One of the biggest reasons we feel “off balance” is because we’re constantly overcommitting.
How many times have you said yes to something, then instantly regretted it?
Your time is precious, and every yes to something that drains you is a no to something that fills you up.
So next time someone asks you to do something, pause and ask:
- Do I actually want to do this?
- Is this adding to my life or taking from it?
If it’s a no, let it be a no. No guilt required.
💡 Bonus Tip:
If you struggle to say no, try using gentle, but firm responses like:
❌ “I’d love to, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
❌ “Thanks for thinking of me, but I have too much on my plate.”
❌ “That sounds great, but I’m keeping my schedule light this week.”
Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you intentional.
What Balance Actually Looks Like in Real Life
Real balance isn’t doing everything all at once. It’s recognising:
💜 Some days will be work-heavy, and that’s okay.
💜 Some days will be all about the kids, and that’s okay.
💜 Some days will be about YOU, and that’s more than okay.
The key is to stop aiming for perfection and start aiming for what feels good for you right now.
Your Turn: Let’s Talk About Balance
Drop a comment below: What does balance look like for you?
And if you’re tired of feeling like you’re constantly falling behind, I invite you to start looking at balance differently—not as something to achieve, but as something to adjust as you go.
Because you deserve a life that works for YOU, not just one that works for everyone else. 💜
Categories: : Balance and Self-care
